WHY I DON’T FULLY AGREE WITH YOU KALKI

Hey Kalki,

When my friend told me that Kalki has just made another epic by giving an impressive monologue, I was as excited as I was after watching your satirical video titled “Rape: Its your fault”. 

I admire you Kalki. You represent the woman of today who believes in herself and who knows how to walk her own way.You think and speak about women's issues much more than your peers in Bollywood. You are beautiful.You redefine beauty with your confidence and by just being yourself. But quite contrary to my expectations, barring some moments of truth, your monologue just disappointed me.

My intention is not to prove you wrong. It is just to show you the other side of your version. Nobody is completely correct or wrong.

To start with, you talk about the status of women in the past and you seem to be quite oblivious of the fact that women in India were respected the most in the ancient times when  people believed that divinity blossoms in that place where a woman is honoured - 'Yatra Naryastu Pujyante, Ramante Tatra Devata'. Women were learned, they were called Vidushis. They were an integral part of the society but I don't know when the situation deteriorated and collapsed to something like 'Na Stri swatantryamarhati' as explained in Manusmriti. Well that was perhaps Manu's narrow personal opinion which deserves no attention.

Kalki, I think you can decide for yourself what you want to do and can choose to avoid what society thinks about you. I don't expect the women suppressed by Khap panchayats to do it, but you can. If you dont want to wear lipstick, don't use them. If you feel comfortable in an oversized T-shirt and boxers, please wear them. If you want to dig your nose or grow armpit hair, you are free to do that. Nobody is going to arrest you. India is a free country.

I did not understand what point you wanted to prove when you explained about the parties you attended. If you don't like glitzy parties, avoid them. And please make an attempt to understand human psychology in a formal group. It is in human nature to set etiquettes and protocols and induce courtesy when in groups, whether you like it or not. You cannot expect President Obama to put his arms around our PM's shoulder and shout "Wassup mate!" when he is making an official visit. Nor do their wives giggle and chatter like the aunties in our neighbourhood, the moment they meet .Deviating from these norms is not a sin, you just need a little more spine, either to change it or walk away from it. So, I was not convinced with your allegations of fake smiles and painted lips in these parties.

But, your anguish is right and justified,when you talked about adolscent girls being forced into matrimony and female foeticide and women being objectified. Wait a minute.. so women 'are being' objectified? Are you sure? Switch on your TV and pay attention to Hindi film songs. You will see that 9 out of 10 women on screen are choosing to be objectified. They are competing to become the Item Queens. Katrina Kaif dances to the tunes of 'Sheila ki jawani' and 'Chikni Chameli' . Kareena Kapoor seduces in 'Dil mera muft ka' , Sunny Leone thinks she is Baby Doll and Priyanka Chopra is convinced that she has to show her cleaves and navel if Ram and Leela are in love(heights!!). 

Nowadays children do not listen to fairy tales Kalki.. Any three year old TV watching kid in this country are busy imitating Katrina and Kareena and Priyanka and in the process their idea of womanhood gets distorted. In a nutshell, with all due respect to the Bollywood actors and their hardwork and talent, I believe, woman have substantially contributed to their own problems.Just by not saying "NO" when required. Just by not being stern when required. 

Yes, men are yet to improve. But, before we point our fingers at men, let us look within ourselves.

Let us realise that we are half  of this human race and we are powerful. And 'Man' is contained in Wo'man'. Relax. Smile. 

All you have achieved through your monologue is that you have successfully evoked an emotion- the one of despair and disgust. We have moved on from the Bachchan's Angry Young Man era. But luckily for you, Indians are still  emotional. That does not solve the problem.

Let us think about the solutions and not the problems. 

As Vivekananda rightly said, "Kamzori ka ilaz kamzori ka vichar karna nahi, balki Shakti ka vichar karna hai"

If Indira Gandhi or Shakuntala Devi or Karnam Malleswari paid any attention to the reeti riwaaz of this patriarchal society that we exist in, do you think the world would even know them today? The fact is that they never bothered. Else they would not have been able to do anything except roaming around with their heads sticking out of their pallus. They avoided what is not required and simply loved what they were doing.

If we are in capacity to help those women who cannot do this for themselves, let us think about helping them. Let us talk about educating them, making them financially independent, making them stand on their feet.

Let us think with a gender neutral mind and feel with a woman's heart.

Let us not be naive and desperate with a shallow understanding of the world around us.

Let us not whine about all the tides that are against us, but look forward with confidence and faith in ourselves.

Let us walk hand in hand and spread the smile, that genuine smile like yours, without lipstick...

This world is ours too.

Remya.